Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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