that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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