fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize