Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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