I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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