Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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