We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We need to get me chipped asap
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
