We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
