I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
