I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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