ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize