mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
