i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
