We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize