maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
