omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize