On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
