i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
