y did u give ur computer a hand job?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Text me some of your sweat
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
