What did we do last night that was yellow?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
