He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
