what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize