He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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