Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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