i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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