Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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