That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
