Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
