can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I came so hard my ears popped.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
