My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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