so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
