We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
