we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just googled if crying burns calories
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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