Kiss
Puke
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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