I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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