he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
