Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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