I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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