i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
