I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I wear drunk well.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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