nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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