Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Alive.
So much puke
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
