Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
