At least make sure they are 18
Why
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
