shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
