...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Randomize
