And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
