I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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