Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
