So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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