Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
This girl is more easily done than said...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
