I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
