none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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