He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
