She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
this will be a night to untag.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
