Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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