he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
